Two days ago, I decided to stop doing the dishes. I make all the dinners and I am tired of having to do all the cleaning too. SINCE THEN this pile has appeared and at some point they are going to run out of spoons and cups and plates.
Who will blink first? Not me.
— Miss Potkin (@MissPotkin) March 17, 2021
There’s been a trend on Twitter and TikTok for women to document the random crap they have to clean up around their houses in lockdown. Some have gone on cleaning strikes and have shared how messy their houses get. The thread I’m referencing in this post gave me at least ten minutes of entertainment, which is rare. There’s real household drama in how this unfolded. A British woman with a toddler and husband, whom she calls “Irish,” decided to stop doing the cleanup, dishes, laundry and random chores like replacing the toilet paper rolls. Two days later, she started to tweet about it. She chronicled how horribly messy her house got, the weak half-a-sed way her partner eventually tried to help, and how frustrating it was for her. I’ll spoil this right now – it has a happy ending. Her last tweet said her house smelled like bleach. However it was a real journey to get her husband to recognize that he needed to help. I don’t know her situation but she said she’s working 14 hour days and is really tired and fed up. So many of us can relate to this.
Her first tweet is above and you can follow that thread from there. I included some highlights below. The user, Miss Potkin, is really funny and I’ve followed her.
Instead of doing the dishes, her husband used a plastic spoon:
Let me know when you want to talk about the fact that I stopped doing the laundry too. It’s getting a bit post apocalyptic. The piles are everywhere.
— Miss Potkin (@MissPotkin) March 18, 2021
Here’s her asking Irish what the dish on the table was for:
God give me strength.
— Miss Potkin (@MissPotkin) March 18, 2021
He started loading the dishwasher:
FUCKING HELL, IT’S HAPPENING!
— Miss Potkin (@MissPotkin) March 18, 2021
She was hopeful but he didn’t actually turn on the dishwasher and left a bunch of crap in the sink:
— Miss Potkin (@MissPotkin) March 18, 2021
He finally ran the dishwasher when she asked him:
Me: Did you not want to switch the dishwasher on earlier?
Irish: I ran out of time
Me:
Irish:
— Miss Potkin (@MissPotkin) March 18, 2021
And he finally cleaned up the rest of the house:
Well it’s happened ❤️
— Miss Potkin (@MissPotkin) March 18, 2021
You’re gonna have good days, bad days, and a lot of fuck it days, but people don’t like being taken for granted, especially by the ones they love the most. Period.
— Miss Potkin (@MissPotkin) March 18, 2021
This tweet was made when she was in the middle of it and I found this so relatable:
We keep our homes tidy because love. We cook food and set tables and fill the air with scents of roses and fresh laundry because love. Love is patient but love is also fucking tired because she works 14 hour days.
— Miss Potkin (@MissPotkin) March 18, 2021
Yes, I sometimes work 14 hour days, cook dinner, do the dishes, and find that my 16 year-old son has not done the bare minimum job we’ve agreed on for him, which is to put away the clean dishes. That was yesterday. I woke up to that this morning and briefly considered leaving it for him, but just gave up and did it myself. How many times do we just do it ourselves until we end up breaking? I should be fair, he does it 85% of the time. As the person running the household I do not have this option. I have to get sh-t done no matter what. My son will do laundry, sweep and vacuum, if I ask him and remind him.
So many women are not only caring for children full time, but holding down jobs and doing basic chores for husbands who have no understanding or appreciation for it. Women’s work is not only physical labor, it’s emotional labor. We are the managers and the planners and we often do it all behind the scenes, unrecognized. Meanwhile we’re taught to thank our husbands and partners for their contributions so they’ll keep them up. I’m trying to do this with my son, but I’m also trying to teach him just how much I do in a day so that he can not only help, but be prepared to run his own house. It can be exhausting.
Someone in that thread linked this article in Harper’s Bazaar about women’s emotional labor. It’s actually hard to take.
This is so sweet. I’m so glad it turned out ok for her!
Where is my stuff?
— Miss Potkin (@MissPotkin) March 19, 2021
