With Lindsay “Cracken” Lohan’s career dissolving into crack smoke, crack shenanigans and crack violence years ago, Mother Crackhead Dina Lohan has always been looking for a way to successfully pimp out her other daughter Aliana. Ali is 19 years old now. She’s already a failed “model” after she mysteriously spent MONTHS in “South Korea” last year to try her hand at international glamour modeling… or so Dina claimed. I think we can safely say that Ali is no longer a “model,” right? Right.
So it’s time for Ali’s big career reboot. College? What is this “college” you speak of? She’s 19, and that plastic surgery isn’t going to pay for itself. So Ali is going to be a “singer” now. She has a new YouTube channel and she posted this video (below). If you want to hear her yammer about how her “mama” wants to hear her sing, watch the whole video. If you just want to hear her sing, skip ahead to the 55-second mark.
Okay, it’s not like she has a completely bad voice or anything. She can hold a tune. But there’s no “there” there. Are we supposed to think, “OMG, Ali has such a great voice, she deserves a recording contract”? No. She would be eliminated from The X Factor, American Idol and The Voice in the first round.
Lindsay posted the video onto her Twitter yesterday and she’s been retweeting all of the compliments that Ali has gotten on her voice. Sigh. This story is sad.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
